Hi, my name is Steve and I am a recovering compulsive gambler. I’ve not blogged for a while but thought it was time to share something.
Well what can I say….My recovery is still on track and I’m still attending regular Gamblers Anonymous meetings. My last bet was 18th October 2014 and that was 1664 days ago today!!
I’ve had a massive month with a fantastic 2 week family holiday to Florida followed by me doing the London Marathon which was an amazing experience. Both these things would not have been possible if I had still been gambling. The Marathon was a big chunk of my time and focus since starting my training plan on the 1st January. I don’t think I would have been able to show the discipline and commitment to my training if I was still being controlled by gambling as running would have been way down the pecking order in my priorities. My mental resilience would have been low also and that would have affected my ability to prepare for a 26.2 mile run.
The wave of emotion I felt when I saw the finish line with 200m to go would equal any buzz I got from gambling. To anyone who likes running I would recommend the London Marathon as a must do bucket list activity and I’m so glad and proud that I was able to get a place in the 2019 event. Given that I got a ballot place it also took the pressure of having to raise over £2000 in sponsorship. Saying that I had fantastic support and managed to raise over £1800 which was very satisfying.
Following the obvious high I now find myself feeling low and this reminds me of the spiral I was in when I was gambling. Chasing the wins/highs but ultimately feeling low after my gambling session ended in another loss. So I’ve found myself trying to get some things booked in so I have something to look forward to. I also turn 40 at the end of the year so got a few things planned to cross of my bucket list before I hit the big Four Zero. Definitely want to book some more races throughout the remainder of the year as running has been a big part of my recovery over the last 4 and a half years and has benefited me physically and mentally.
I’ve got some exciting trips and experiences booked in but I also want to step things up in my recovery as complacency is the biggest fear I have going forward. That’s why I still take things 1 day at a time and keep my barriers firmly in place. I don’t want to make the same mistakes as my first recovery when I stopped attending G.A when I got to 5 years clean. It’s at the back of my mind that I’m coming up to 5 years again in October so that’s why I’m trying to focus on my recovery and not let history repeat itself as I may not be able to come back a third time as I have too much to lose.
Anyway back to my Kronenbourg 1664….Cheers
gamblingfreeste 