Thought it was time to put some words down on this blog again as we now face ourselves in our second national lockdown in the UK. This week has been a very challenging one for a couple of reasons which I will get into but thankfully I have come through it unscathed.
The week started off the back of a great zoom GA meeting on Sunday night which I chaired and got a lot from it. I knew I was in for a stressful week at work and that had been playing on my mind over the weekend. However with the PM announcing the national lockdown that changed the thing at the work that I was worried about so a bit of a relief on Monday morning.
However Monday night I had developed some mild Covid-19 symptoms (loss of taste and smell) so I booked myself in for a test the next day. That meant myself and my family were now isolating at home until I got my results back. I was banished to the spare room like a lepper which didn’t feel great and I was still trying to work from home whilst checking my phone every 10 mins to see if my results had come through.
By Wednesday I had convinced myself I had Covid-19 and I had a splitting headache which was probably caused by stress but still no results! Thankfully I was able to join a Zoom GA meeting that night which helped me put a few things into perspective and let me remember the serenity prayer. I just had to wait until I got the results and I couldn’t do anything about it.
Thursday morning and I finally got the results through and they were negative. I suddenly felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and I felt 200% better. My mood didn’t stay up for long as I had a briefing at work saying they were making more redundancies before the end of the year. I’d managed to get through the first wave of the job losses in July but now I was having to go through it all again! Serenity prayer came into play again and one day at a time as I had to focus on the present and not look too far in into the future.
I had already booked Friday off on holiday so I used that to concentrate on my recovery. I went out for run, I did some meditation and then I found a Zoom GA meeting in New York I could join. It was great to join a different meeting and good to hear some new stories. Amazing how similar GA meetings are no matter what country you are in and you always get a warm welcome.
That took me nicely into the weekend with limited things to do because of the new lockdown but I was still able to go for a walk with my family on Saturday, play a board game, watch a bit of football and then on Sunday I went for a run with my best mate, cooked Sunday dinner and wrote this blog. I will also be joining my Zoom GA meeting tonight for sure and all these things cost absolutely nothing!
When I was gambling I wanted that big win – but for what? I have everything now i always wanted from not gambling and I have no desire to go back gambling as it only brings you misery. Life is tough enough at the moment and having a clear gamble free head is essential for getting myself and my family through it.
If someone is out there who is still struggling with gambling I can give you 3 key pieces of advice.
1. Speak to someone about your problem (open up/be honest)
2. Seek out help for you problem (e.g. Gamblers Anonymous or phone the National Gambling helpline on 0808 8020 133 )
3. Start today, accept you cannot win and take things one day at a time.
My name is Steve and I’m a compulsive gambler. Last bet 18th October 2014. God Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Stay safe and gamble free
gamblingfreeste 