As I approach my 40th birthday but more importantly 5 years since my last bet I thought it would be interesting to write a letter to myself as a 18 year old boy/man to reflect on many highs/lows and lessons learned over the past 22 years. Thinking about this a bit more I guess there are lots of things for me to reflect on so thought I would use this blog to capture this.
Things I would tell myself if I was 18 again
- Travel more (before you have kids)
- Be more ambitious, you can achieve anything if you have the self belief and confidence
- Study something other than Sports Science at University – maybe Engineering
- Don’t toss it off at University. It’s costs a lot of money so make sure you work hard and get the grades you deserve
- Don’t be afraid to go outside your comfort zone and push yourself
- Spend more time with your grandparents as when their gone their gone
- If you get married make sure the proposal is romantic and not on the back of you coming out about your gambling addiction.
- Do not lie or be unfaithful (most of all don’t lie to yourself)
- Tell more people about your gambling addiction (especially your father in law)
It would be easy for me to say don’t get addicted to gambling however I didn’t choose to become addicted it just happened and then there was no turning back. What I can say is that i should have taken my recovery more seriously first time around and stuck with my Gamblers Anonymous meetings. Instead I let the addiction back into my life and I lost control again. However, this addiction has surely moulded me into the 39 year old adult/father/husband I am today and many positives have come out as I go through my recovery.
I must say there has been many positives/good decisions made in the last 22 years and here are a few that spring to mind…
- Did a skydive aged 21
- Admitted I had a gambling problem aged 23 and went to my first Gamblers Anonymous meeting
- Bought a house aged 23
- Got married aged 26
- Made some good career moves post 2004 into the great job I have today
- Started a family aged 28 and now have 2 fantastic, smart children aged 11 and 8.
- Travelled to many places across Europe/North America/Asia (Been to Disneyland Florida 3 times!)
- Played football at a good standard (semi-pro)
- Kept close to my best mate from school – Stevie
- Been to watch the Open Golf, World Championship Athletics, Ashes test match, FA cup final, Real Madrid….
- Returned to G.A for my second recovery aged 34
- Ran the Great North Run aged 37
- Slept in Warwick castle aged 38
- Ran the London Marathon aged 39
- Raised over £2500 for Mind and Motor Neurones Disease from various running events
- Started a gambling addiction blog aged 36 (e.g. This One!!!)
- Gained over 500 followers on my twitter account @gambling_free
- I’m sure there are many more…….
At the end of the day I would say I’ve had a good life so far despite coping with the ongoing recovery from gambling addiction. Some things I may do differently but i cannot change the past. Hopefully I can pass some pearls of wisdom onto my children and hope they don’t fall into the same pitfalls as me.
I only hope the next 10 years are as good as the last 5 has been….but that means staying gamble free 1 day at a time and putting my recovery up at the top of my priority list.
My name is Steve and I’m a compulsive gambler. Last bet 18th October 2014
gamblingfreeste 