On a spiritual high

In the past I would have been desperate to place that next bet to get the rush of gambling again. Although the majority of the time I would end up losing, the gambling urges would always take me back to feel that high again from going all or nothing.

How do you replace that rush/buzz?

Many people can never replace the buzz they got from gambling but by following the principles of the 12 step recovery program I have come very close in recent months.

Taking this Easter weekend as an example:

I have decorated my children’s bedrooms which gave me enormous satisfaction and they helped me along the way which was fun at times!

I also found time to do a junior parkrun with my 7 year old daughter which we both enjoyed #strongbodystrongmind. Which reminds me I need to get training for my half marathon in September….Its good to have personal goals in recovery and things to look forward to.

I’m very fortunate now that I have stopped gambling my wages can go to more productive things such as holidays and days out and these are special times spent with family and great friends.

One of the highest points of this weekend was my GA meeting tonight at Nottingham. If you have read my story you will know that I used to attend the Nottingham meeting when I first started attending GA and now I use it as a secondary meeting to Chesterfield. 

Tonight I decided to chair the meeting for the first time since about 2007, which didn’t seem like a big deal but on reflection afterwards I took a lot from the meeting and put a lot into it. There were a lot of newer members and people who were struggling to walk the tightrope of recovery so it was great to be able to help others and pass on the advice I had been given In the early days. This will sound bizarre to people who have not been to a 12 step recovery meeting but the power in the rooms of GA recently has been immense. If you could bottle it and sell it as medicine you would make a fortune.

So where does the power come from?

Some people believe God, some people believe it’s the people in the room. I believe there is something spiritual in the rooms of GA and those 2-4 hours a week I spend there results in me coming out the room with a added barrier of protection and I’m not sure what to call it??? For those thinking GA is a religious group, it is not as GA is not allied to any religion although God is mentioned in some of the literature. (This is the God of your own understanding). 

I felt I needed to write something tonight as I feel this recovery journey I’m on is going very well at the moment and the high’s I am feeling on a daily basis is going a long way to keep me away from gambling. So today I am not missing the buzz of gambling but tomorrow could be a different story. That is the problem with addiction, but I am living with that and getting great support at GA and with family and friends.
So the wife is making us go to IKEA tomorrow which isn’t my first choice for a bank holiday Monday but at least I will not be having a gamble and the hot dogs and meat balls are rather nice so it would be rude not to!!

Like I said on Twitter yesterday. Don’t let your recovery be like watching paint dry, go and have a fantastic life as gambling is no longer holding me back financially and emotionally.